I was ashamed and uncomfortable in my body.
It took me a long time to learn to love yourself and accep yourself is fundamental for inner peace and happiness, let me tell you about one of our first dates.
I think it was our second date with my now-husband, we had met at art school and both loved photography. We went out taking photos of old buildings in Port Adelaide. The weather was warm and sunny, but I was so ashamed of the extra curves around my belly that I refused to take off my jacket. I was grumpy and moody because I was uncomfortable and ashamed of my body.
My poor date had no idea what was wrong with me. Looking back, I realise I had let my own insecurities get in the way of having a good time.
It’s amazing how we can be our own worst critics, isn’t it? We look at ourselves in the mirror and focus on every little imperfection. We compare ourselves to others, to the models in magazines, friends, or the influencers on social media. We think that if we don’t fit into a certain mold, we’re somehow not good enough.
But the thing is, there is no mold. There is no one “right” way to look, to act or to be.
We are all unique, beautiful individuals, with our own strengths and weaknesses, our own quirks and idiosyncrasies. And that is something to be celebrated, not ashamed of.
It took me a long time to learn to love myself. It took me years of struggling with body image issues, of feeling like I wasn’t thin enough, pretty enough, good enough or normal enough. It took me years of comparing myself to others, of trying to fit into a mold that didn’t exist, of hating myself for not measuring up.
I felt different. I was different. I didn’t look, act or think like everyone else.
I discovered meditation, journaling, self care, finding like minded friends, and doing what I loved. I started to realize that my worth as a person had nothing to do with my appearance. I started to remember that I was so much more than just a body. That I had talents, passions and dreams that had nothing to do with how much I weighed or what size jeans I wore.
Slowly but surely, I learnt to accept myself for who I was. I remembered to love myself, flaws and all. I stopped comparing myself to others and started focusing on my own journey. I didn’t lett my insecurities get in the way of my relationships and my experiences. It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
I still have bad days, where I look in the mirror and wish I looked different, or when I compare myself to someone else and feel inadequate. But those moments are few and far between, and they don’t have the power over me that they used to.
You are beautiful, unique and amazing, just the way you are.
So to anyone who is struggling with self-acceptance or to remember to love yourself, I want you to know that you are not alone. It’s a journey, and it’s not an easy one, but you are worth it.
Don’t let anyone, especially yourself, tell you otherwise.
And thankyou to my husband, who had the patience and understanding to see past my insecurities and love me for who I am, I am so grateful for you.
Remember to love yourself.
Peace and Love, Toni xx
I am such a sensitive human. Anxiety feels like I have been picked up and shaken. This modern world is simply sometimes TOO MUCH for my poor nervous system. I know my limits, I know to keep life simple and easy. But sometimes I choose to do TOO MUCH. Last weekend I went out to […]
Connecting with the vibrational frequency of the Earth is called grounding.
My oasis, my garden, my sanctuary, 💚 I come home every night to this and wake up every day to this beautiful Coral tree, in Coral Avenue actually.
We planted this tree from a cutting 13 years ago, when my girl was just a babe, there was concrete everywhere and we ripped it all up to create our paradise.
Grounding is an important part of managing and transforming your energy. Bringing your energy back to center, to balance. grounding is when you can bring your focus back down to earth, to the important things. To presence.
Mother Earth is a powerful healer, spending time in her presence, at the beach, a garden, on the grass, or the forest. Bathing in her beauty, in her abundance, in her magnificence is cleansing and healing.
Energetically there is a thing that happens when we connect with nature, our energy starts matching her vibrational frequency. It brings it down, when we have been heightened with stress, or it lifts it up if we have been struggling to rise.
Spiritually and metaphorically her energy comforts, nourishes, and nurtures us. Allowing us to feel safe, in our bodies, and safe at home in the world. This grounding of energy is a like a strengthening of our being. Physically, mentally and spiritually.
Her magnificent beauty is sensuous, it teases our senses to curiosity, to take action, to be joyful, and adventurous! What do you do to ground, to feel safe? I’d love to hear your process.
The Chakra Connection
This deep energetic healing experience I held last Sunday was beautiful. We shared this day learning about chakras, energy, connection with self and the power of intention with 6 beautiful humans for 6 hours together. Resting in this space, being guided and held in deep meditation to release and cultivate energy.
I will definetely be holding this again, if you would like to learn more about yourself as an energetic being. It’s like a day retreat for you to take time and space for yourself with beautiful like minded people.
Register your interest with me by email tonishealingroom@gmail.com or 0430 860 448.
The Adelaide Reiki Festival
Held at Bindarra Reserve, Brighton Beach was such an amazing day, shared with the generous spirit of healers gifting their time and energy for FREE to the community. For those who cannot afford it, or wanted to try Reiki for the first time, or simply to be held in the beautiful energy this circle created on the day.
We had loads of people come by to try Reiki healing for the first time, so many comments of heartfelt gratitude for the energy and healing they experienced in the circle.
A gracious Thank You to all who came to Give and Recieve. Peace and Love, Toni 💛
Interestingly my kids were watching Young Sheldon yesterday and he had a dream that the no 1 and 0 were talking to him about the binary nature of life. Very much like the Taoist beliefs about living in harmony and the idea of opposite forces of yin and yang. Everything exists in life in a balance of opposites, light-dark, male-female, sun-moon, sky-earth, night-day, being-doing, winter-summer, order-chaos, etc. I loved it! Thanks Sheldon, as this is a part of my philosophy and beliefs in life.
This duality in life is what I know to be true, even though I sometimes rally against it. Against the truth that chaos is needed, that suffering exists, that violence, selfishness and hatred are a part of this world and help create a balance and harmony. Without one, we would not know the other, it sucks, but that’s reality. We need to accept it, or we rally forever in this push/pull motion between love and hate, fear and hope. Stuck in angst, conflict and needless suffering, trying to find meaning in it all, as we are prone to do.
I don’t think I’ve written about my spiritual journey before, of course I write about this topic everyday, I just haven’t offered it up as a whole life journey so far. It started when I was a teenager, our way of life just didn’t make sense or give me meaning, I needed more than Catholic Church on Sundays. I needed more than what our popular culture offered, buying the latest and greatest, cheap thrills, competitive sports or another activity to fill my days.
My soul yearned for more, for more meaning. I had to seek it out on my own, as I didn’t know this was what I was missing. I did however, love hanging out with my friends having D & M’s (deep and meaningful conversation) about life and death, I loved studying art and religion, things that gave me a sense of awe and wonder about the nature of reality and life itself. A philosopher at heart.
What I wanted to write about today was my spiritual journey, I started meditating and channeling as a teenager, it was powerful for my young, open mind. My search for meaning found ridiculous old religious dogma, it just didn’t resonate with me, we were living in a new age of scientific invention, technology and exploration, I needed more.
All I knew was that there was more to life than what we see, I felt it. (A true religious or spiritual experience right) I felt the energy of life, the earth, the stars, the people, I felt this invisible energy. Unsatisfied, I searched for meaning, I studied art and traditional chinese medicine, “feel the Chi flowing” they said. So next step, I learnt Reiki, I was BLOWN AWAY!
Learning how to feel and see energy was a trip, the most eye opening journey of my life. Confirming all the things I thought to be true, that there is more to life. That the inner journey is just as important as the outer one. It showed me a place of peace, truth and wisdom within. It took me on journeys of the spirit. To seek guidance. To connect deeply with myself. To create stillness within, and therefore without. That the mind is the body and the body is the mind, we are energy. That we are all connected by our energy. To find deep love for myself. To open my mind and my heart. To find balance and harmony. To free myself.
Reiki energy healing grounds me, it centers and balances me in my body, in my mind, I feel calm. It connects me to myself, deeply, I trust in myself anew and most importantly, I feel love for myself again.
If you’ve never tried Reiki, this Saturday is the perfect opportunity to try it for FREE. At the Adelaide Reiki Festival, 10am to 12pm Bindarra Reserve, Brighton Beach near the jetty. 15 Reiki healers, in a circle, a powerful space to be welcomed, sit and experience the healing power of Reiki for FREE. Bring a friend, a picnic and soak up the delicious energy of light workers and sound healers. https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/517204491557
All are welcome.
If you already know the healing power of energy and intention or have worked with me before, I invite you to join me for The Chakra Connection.
Disconnected? Lack of energy? Want to connect with your spiritual self? Your energy?
I warmly welcome you to this 1 day deep energetic healing experience. Take the time to heal and reconnect with yourself on a deep, spiritual level. This is a small and intimate group to feel comfortable and supported in this healing environment. Limited to 10 spaces. Sunday 5th February 2023, 10am to 4pm, The Connection Centre, North Adelaide.
If you would like to know more about this extraordinary energetic experience, or feel you are ready for this, click on the link below. Tickets $150pp plus booking fee, organic healing herbal tea, vegetarian lunch and snacks provided.
https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/482918721897
This story wasn’t the end of my journey, only the beginning.
Peace and Love, Toni
A quick note to say ‘THANK YOU’ for being here, I am so grateful for you.
My intention this year is to work on GRATITUDE. I realised I haven’t been very grateful this year as I sat meditating on my intentions for the year ahead.
I complain way too much for my own liking. It is a problem for many of us that we are not grateful. If we spend out time only focusing on our own problems and not think about the suffering or happiness of others, we are in a state of imbalance. It is also a fine line to walk between making a good life for ourselves and doing too much for others.
Being a spiritual, energetic coach you would think I have this down pat. So What is it holding me back? Keeping me stuck? What do I need to let go of in order to move forward? First I ask myself, what is it I want?
I want to feel “Freedom, Peace and Love”. These things lift my spirits. So everything that is not bringing me this is making me cranky. My crankiness is A SIGN – I need to work on myself. There is some thing I need to let go of.
I need to let go of the attachment to my guilt, to my responsibility for others’ health and happiness, then clinging to my own disappointment and resentment when I don’t get what I need. What have I been gaining from holding onto these things?
That I am important? That life is meaningful when I am helping others?
In setting an intention to bring in GRATITUDE, I know that more good things will come my way. That’s how energy works, what you focus on, you attract. To feel gratitude for what I want, like I have it already.
Retrospectively, it has been a hard year for many of us doing this deep, soul healing work, but necessary to go through these dark times. Finding our way back to the light, to shed what is holding us back, no matter how much we are attached to it and don’t want to change, is for our own growth, our own peace and happiness. LET GO. Even if it’s just for a moment, What does it feel like to let the thing go?
In letting go of my guilt, my disappointment and resentment, I feel freedom, peace and love again.
So what is it you want more of this year? Set your intention.
Peace and Love, Toni xx
Imagine being open to the idea of magic!
That when you believe in something… Magic Happens!
Do you believe you are powerful, free to be you, to speak your truth, to walk the path you truly desire. You need to believe it, to feel it, for it to manifest.
Believe in a feeling of peace and calm in your body and mind. That you are confident to walk this life you’ve chosen for yourself. That you are fully connected to yourself, soulfully aligned to trust again.
Trust and believe in yourself, in life, your journey, and the universe.
Believe in the beauty of magic happening!
To free yourself…. Free from the overwhelm, the chaos and confusion.
What have you been thinking and believing, what have you been manifesting?
Freedom!? Abundance? Love? or something else?
Freedom from our thoughts, our expectations of what life should be, how we should be, and where we should be right now, compared to our own dreams of the future is an important concept to contemplate when we want to manifest or magic up what we want.
Imagine being free from the constraints of this human vessel, our pain, free from our vision of the best version of ourselves that we aren’t living up to, freedom from bad shi..t happening, freedom from a world where people suffer.
This journey is a challenge, it is your adventure. What challenge can you face and overcome today, in each moment? Can you make decisions, or are you stuck in conflict with yourself?
When we find ourselves stuck in negative thought loops, stuck in pain, or illness, there is something we are not facing. What is it?
What decision are you not making, or making that is keeping you stuck in this inner turmoil? Can you face the challenge, meet your opponent face to face and see what it is you haven’t been able to see?
The opponent is yourself, always. The unconscious mind does what it does to keep you safe, to stop you from getting hurt, taking risks. But what does that get you except the same thing. For if nothing changes, nothing changes right?
What internal shift could you make to help you see the situation differently? If you were able to do this, would you want to?
That is the question that really keeps you stuck, you don’t want to change, it’s scary, it’s hard, you’ll be vulnerable. It’s actually inevitable, for if you don’t face yourself, own your story, be authentically you, you will remain stuck in this cycle until change is forced upon you, and that might be harder than choosing for yourself.
Find the freedom you crave, take a healing journey with me to Free Your Inner Spirit.
Imagine if you let go of all that, how would you feel about yourself, how would your life look.
Imagine being open to trust, yourself, the universe, and letting love flow in and out…
Imagine being open to the mystery and magic of life…
Imagine where that might take you…
When there is fear, worry, and tension, we are shut down, closed off, we cannot see ahead, we do not let freedom, love, abundance or magic in. We get stuck here.
Let me be your guide to feeling free and flowing….
The journey of healing, of letting go of old ways and stepping into the new, is a whole new adventure of
Exploration, Empowerment & Evolution.
Choose to believe in you and magic will happen!
Peace and Love, Toni xx