I am such a sensitive human.

Anxiety feels like I have been picked up and shaken. This modern world is simply sometimes TOO MUCH for my poor nervous system.

I know my limits, I know to keep life simple and easy. But sometimes I choose to do TOO MUCH. 

Last weekend I went out to the Fringe 3 times, plus a kids birthday party.

TOO LATE. TOO BIG. TOO MUCH.

Sunday I suffered with my nervous system being on edge… that’s all. It’s a sign I’ve done too much. I was frazzled. Overwhelmed. My head was shaken up. Jumpy. Irritable.

I know my limits after living with Anxiety on and off for 20 years. I knew that Sunday was a rest, retreat and replenish day at home. My body, my energy was speaking to me. There was a conflict of my mind wanting to go out again, and my body saying no TOO MUCH.

What is your body saying to you? 

Headaches, brain fog, lethargy, mood swings, gut problems, irritability, chest pain? All symptoms of stress and anxiety. 

We all have dreams of living a full life, but keeping your body and your nervous system happy is so important for your well being. To rest your body and mind, to retreat a little, make time for yourself to create stillness within and calm the frazzled nerves, to replenish your energy with good food, people and experiences. 

I know the idea of watching Thor is sometimes too hard to resist, but seriously, some nice positive vibes from a romantic comedy or uplifting story line is much better for your soul and nervous system.

Get in touch if you’re ready to work on yourself and to work with me to create stillness within. 

To release and resolve the conflict, the emotion, the pain, the old beliefs and patterns, the mindset. To create harmony and balance in body and soul. To free your inner spirit.

Create stillness within 

This is a line I have been using for a while now, but sometimes I lose sight of it. So I thought I would revisit this concept for myself and for you also.

Once upon a time, there was a young woman named Emily. She had always been fascinated by the life cycle of the caterpillar and how it transforms itself into a butterfly, what a marvellous animal. She loved this gentle creature, how it flits and floats through life easily and effortlessly.

Emily had been struggling with anxiety and depression for a long time. She felt like she was stuck in her own head, unable to break free from her pain and torment. Unable to break free and spread her wings. Her inability to live the life of her dreams ate away at her everyday, filled with fear and deep sadness at what her life had become and was becoming more and more, the future taunted her with lost dreams and regret of decisions she had not taken. She turned within, to hide away, she felt like giving up, she went into her own personal cocoon of silence and retreat. 

In her cocoon of rest and retreat, the silence enveloped her with a peace, settled over her like a warm blanket. Creating stillness within she allowed her mind and body to completely rest and surrender to this deep level of relaxation in her whole being. 

This perfectly comfortable, safe, nurturing place deep within herself, where only she could go, allowed all her tender emotions to surface and wash over her, to flow gently out of her body through her tears and softening. 

In this silence and restful space, the feeling of fatigue and giving up was actually a letting go, a release of all the things that used to be important. The work she had to do, the people she had to please, the ideas of who she should be, all the things she wanted to have, she let them all go. No longer validating the need for them, all that mattered was now. This very moment. Her presence in this moment, allowed her to slowly unravel herself, from all the expectations and judgements she had placed on herself. No longer did she see the need for these unnecessary things, in this moment, it didn’t matter.

The ability to surrender to the fight, instead of keeping up the fight, is key to letting go.

To trust in your body to know what to do. To rest and retreat, in doing so we learn to surrender to our darker emotions, to lead us within. Creating stillness within, we go to a place where we can let go of all the bullshit and come home to what is real for us, to what matters most.

Somewhere deep down Emily knew there was a beautiful butterfly inside her, waiting to emerge. Just like the story from her childhood, she remembers that the caterpillar goes within to rest and retreat in solitude, then Transforms into a beautiful butterfly.

On this day, Emily decided to take action. She went to a quiet place in the garden, sat down, determined to create stillness within herself. She closed her eyes and took deep breaths, focusing on the present moment.

As she breathed in and out, she felt a sense of calm wash over her. She imagined herself as a caterpillar, softening and surrendering to the process of life. Trusting her body to retreat and create stillness within. Slowly and gently softening, opening, letting go of the fear and sadness. In the process expanding, renewing her body with fresh energy and oxygen, allowing new life force energy to transform her state of being, to be reborn, into a beautiful butterfly. She visualized her cocoon opening up, and her wings unfurling for the first time. 

Emily realized that the key to becoming a butterfly was to free her inner spirit. She had to let go of all the negative thoughts and emotions that were holding her back. She had to trust in herself and her own journey.

Over time, Emily continued to work on herself, practicing meditation and self-care, she surrounded herself with positive influences. Slowly but surely, she felt her inner butterfly beginning to emerge.

One day, Emily looked in the mirror and saw a transformed woman staring back at her. Full of peace, love and light, she was no longer a caterpillar, but a beautiful butterfly with strong, vibrant wings and a free spirit.

Emily realized that she had the power to transform herself and create the life she wanted. All she had to do was create stillness within, and free her inner spirit.

And so, Emily flew off into the world, ready to explore and embrace all the beauty and wonder it had to offer. She knew that no matter what challenges she might face, she had the strength in her ability to trust her body to overcome them. For she was a beautiful butterfly, and nothing could hold her back.

Peace and Love, Toni xx